Bathroom Beautification

Bridget Lomax '24

Did you see them? The trolls in the bathrooms? Do you know why they were there?

In an uncharacteristically blog-style format, I’m delving into my plan for Bathroom Beautification at the Academy.

It was Fall 2022, and some friends and I were discussing the soon-to-be relevant Elf on the Shelf during Study Hall. In my sophomore year, five elves magically arrived in Homeroom 204. Wild, right? I had insider information that they would not be returning because Beth– the Academy’s new elf– would be taking over. Aside from Brian, Lily, Rebecca, Holly, and Jingle being freshly unemployed, I realized we would need some magic to last us beyond the Christmas season. Along with other friends, we researched alternative Elves on Shelves. It was after a grueling Google session that I cried Eureka! We’d found them: trolls on bowls.

Trolls on bowls are a bona fide nightmare fuel created for Sundance Film Festival 2015. They’re designed to perch on toilets– it was love at first sight. Some called it “a terrible idea.” I called it fate.

Unfortunately, those trolls for sale are entirely out of budget. New plan.

What was the plan, anyway? I had the desire to decorate AOSE’s restrooms. Last year, pasted on the mirrors, were sticky notes that said “slay” and “gorgeous” and other affirming phrases. These were a must, so why stop there? We could bring in posters, floral arrangements, and more. A multi-phase plan soon gelled in my hyperactive brain:

  • Phase 1: Purchase and distribute trolls (like from the 2016 film, Trolls).
  • Phase 2: Sticky notes and plaster the walls with posters.
  • Phase 3: Floral arrangements– just enough to spruce it up.
  • Phase 4: Miscellaneous others (lotion, trolls, etc.).

Note my intentional skimming of the details. I can’t divulge everything now, now can I? It’d spoil the fun. The transformation should be well underway by spring break. In the meantime, please stay on troll patrol and keep them cheerily stationed if you do come across one, which you will. Bathroom Beautification is ultimately an ongoing project of mine that requires community support.

Here’s a parting quote from Alvin Toffler: “You’ve got to think about the big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction,” and I assure you that these trolls are due North.